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A month ago, I wrote about channeling your inner Mr. Rogers. I stand by that advice — treating people well, offering patience and thoughtfulness — is the right approach. Almost always.

I stressed in that piece that being Mr. Rogers-esque doesn’t mean being a pushover. But sometimes, toughness is required. To be clear, being tough isn’t the same as being a jerk; it’s being firm.

And you can be tough while still being polite. For example, if you’re late to pay me:

Your payment for Invoice #1001 was due three days ago. Can you please get this paid today?

That may strike you as tough as nails; it may strike you as too kind. You might object to the “please,” or you might think that second sentence shouldn’t be a question: “Get this paid today.” That’s fair. If it’s a customer’s second time with this issue, I’d likely write “I need this paid by EOD today.” If it’s a first-time offense, I’ll start softer.

I especially don’t like people wasting my time. Since I’m self-employed, I only make money when I’m doing paid work, but even when I was salaried, I was very protective of my working hours. If you miss an introductory meeting that we booked, you already have one strike against you. If you didn’t warn me that you were going to miss the meeting, you have at least two. (I’m writing more about this topic in the next couple weeks.)

I had one potential client cancel two initial calls day-of. That’s bad. I wasn’t Mr. Rogers-esque in my reply the second time, but I was tough. The canceler had suggested we meet at a specific time the next day. I couldn’t do that time. I often share a scheduling link, but this potential client had clearly lost self-scheduling privileges. And the only reason I was willing to give this person a third and final shot was that I believed they could be a great customer. My email to them this time was:

I’m not available at that time.

I understand scheduling issues can arise, but I’m by necessity protective of my time. Let’s try once more. Let me know if you prefer [Time One] or [Time Two], and we’ll give this one more shot.

We had the meeting. I booked the client. It’s going well.

Again, you may read that one and think it’s soft. People who work with me a lot would read that email and know full well — I was grumpy. Find ways to express frustration or disappointment that remain professional and also suit your personality. Polite doesn’t mean pushover.

Default to Mr. Rogers. But be ready to break out Tough Ol’ Fred when needed.