Earlier today, I published a free post about fear. Read that piece first, and then come back here and read some ideas on practicing how to get more comfortable feeling and processing fear in real time.

You work out that muscle by repeatedly getting outside your comfort zone, ideally sometimes in lower-stakes scenarios, so you can practice feeling — but not being incapacitated by — fear.

For example, perhaps you are vastly prefer ordering food online, because you hate talking to strangers on the phone. If that’s you, motivate yourself to call in your next lunch order. Experience the feeling of talking to a stranger and having to emphasize your substitutions live on the phone instead of relying on a checkbox. Feel that fear as you navigate talking to a stranger — survive it, and work that muscle.


This is an easy one to practice because there’s no true peril involved in talking to the person taking your order at a restaurant. The stakes are low, so you’re forcing yourself outside you’re comfort zone but without exposing yourself to anything dangerous.

If you want to get more advanced, check out “Rejection Therapy.” Rejection Therapy was created by a Canadian entrepreneur named Jason Comely, who later sold the concept to a guy named Jia Jiang. The idea of Rejection Therapy is to practice experiencing fear — particularly the fear of rejection — by desensitizing yourself to it. Typically, the advice is to do this every day, for 30 or even 100 days.  

Rejection Therapy involves things like asking a stranger if you can borrow $100, or ordering a burger at a fast food restaurant, and then going back up to the counter to ask for a burger “refill.” Strangers aren’t likely to loan you $100. Burger refills aren’t a thing (sadly). So you’ll be told no, and you’ll feel fear and stress and anxiety going into these awkward interactions, and during them… and you’ll be okay.

(Obviously if you’re going to practice with approaches like these, it’s important not to make innocent strangers uncomfortable, so you're focused on being kind, patient, and understanding when you inevitably hear no. You’re leaving them with a fun story to share about the weird question they got; you’re not out to upset them.)

It’s hard to practice being afraid. But finding ways to get reps in prepares you for when the stakes are higher.